Friday at work was extremely hard as I had to face the downside of pediatric nursing and lost my first patient. She was only six months old... It was a lot harder to deal with emotionally than I was expecting. I mean, I have seen patients and even children die before, but it is alot different when you are the nurse in charge of everything. And, it was a "withdrawal of life support" situation which made it harder because I couldn't fight for this little one like I wanted to... The entire day all I could think about was going home to my family and snuggling with Zachary on the couch to watch a movie...it was a day full of emotions and tears. A lot of tears. I felt so helpless, lost and at times, so alone. It is a feeling that I never want to experience again.
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So on Saturday, I was fortunate to be able to stay home on call...and I didn't get called in either, which was a huge blessing. We really took advantage of the day at home together. We finished bringing in the rest of the "baby" stuff to finish setting things up for Eli. In the mean time, Nathan found a kite that he bought Zachary last year which provided some entertainment for a while. We then went to Lebanon for lunch and a walk in the park! That night, we headed to Cookeville where Zachary and Nathan went to a Tech basketball game with some of the fellas and I met up with Megan and Ashleigh for a sisters dinner and a movie. It was a great day...and a much needed break from the stress of my job.
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